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Matters of the Heart. Has a Commercial Fuck turned into a torrid Love Affair which has turned your life upside down? Fear not. We have experts here who can help you through your roller coaster ride. Tell us your story and we'll do our best to help.

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  #61  
Old 12-06-2017, 06:49 PM
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Re: What is the secret to long lasting affair?

Quote:
Originally Posted by senters89 View Post
well, I guess everyone who end up here writing out our emotions know that having this special relationship is not easy. We all fall in love again at the most unexpected time.

Just like what sister Cassandra and bro shadow had said, it not easy to lead a double life, but all of us NEVER REGRETTED. Life is full of unexpected changes and life bring you to unexpected places. Someone who crossed over your path can change your whole direction and route.

I never though I would I meet another woman who can make my day smiling. Never underestimate the importance of having a person in your life who can always make you smile. We both know that 1 day this might end. We had been very secretive of our personal life thinking that, knowing less = hurt less. There were always doubt about each other, but we both kept silent.

When it is my turn to let go or end it, I am very unsure if I can let it go so easily. It is easy to say you are over someone if you aren't seeing them. The challenge is to look them in the eye and see their smile and hear their voice and still be able to say, this is not what I want anymore.

So, to my bro and sis who had their story ended,
Don not be sad that it ended, but happy that it happened.

and to my bro and sis who still have this special relationship including myself.
Enjoy every moment you have with her/him. I'll rather regret something I did than regret not doing something. Twenty years from now, make sure you can say that you chose you life, you didn't settle for it.
this is very true.

as the curtains draw to a close, I am tempted to run into the arms of another be it another affair(surprisingly the chance came as soon as the one ended) or into FL to just nurse the wounds

But I chose none. I chose to sit back write out my thoughts, feelings, and look at the journey. 7 years of memories. There were ups, downs, and many many times either I or she wanted out. There were many times there were doubts, and even third parties that even though she never started, she was smitten by.

I have been a third party when I was in Australia and I loved a engaged girl, and it was torturing, knowing that when she is not with me, she is with him. The nights she is not sleeping beside you, she is with him. It hurts, its sucks.
But again, if that's all life is willing to give you, you take lemons and make lemonade. When she went back to her fiancé, I never regretted the time we had. In another place, another time, we would be together. Love wasn't the issue, but circumstances, timing and eventually of course fate played its hand

I believe in destiny and its fate that brought this special person to me. It might not be a conventional relationship but each moment is special.

People might laugh and say why be a third party, why not just find one and be that one. Yes, tried that, It didn't work out. Judging from the national statistics, it doesn't seem like the marriage cards are working either. E.g Jamie Yeo is going for the 3rd time.

At the end of my long discourse, what I am saying is we all are just living in the moment, trying to get by and make it to tomorrow. If tomorrow doesn't come, then lets play our hand to its fullest, whatever your choices are, stay unhappy and faithful or be unfaithful(in the conventional context) and maybe have a glimpse of happiness.

No one gets married to get divorced, no one starts having an affair to hurt another. No one falls in love to get hurt. Sometimes that's just how life is. The joke is sometimes on those who judge. A lady who judged me and my ex years back, for being a third party, ruining my marriage, causing pain to another, when her marriage failed, her husband was going for anything in a skirt, she ended up knowing a married man and has been the third party for 2 years now. She still pretends on the outside that she has all the right values, and holier than thou attitude, but as I have said, she is just trying to survive, to get to the next day.



P/s want to start a small group of people, divorced, going to, thinking about it, having extra partners, etc... sometimes a word of advice from the wiser and non judgmental people can help loads. WeChat? PM me. Bros, Sis...all welcomed.
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  #62  
Old 12-06-2017, 09:16 PM
senters89 senters89 is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Shadow_warrior View Post
this is very true.

as the curtains draw to a close, I am tempted to run into the arms of another be it another affair(surprisingly the chance came as soon as the one ended) or into FL to just nurse the wounds

But I chose none. I chose to sit back write out my thoughts, feelings, and look at the journey. 7 years of memories. There were ups, downs, and many many times either I or she wanted out. There were many times there were doubts, and even third parties that even though she never started, she was smitten by.

I have been a third party when I was in Australia and I loved a engaged girl, and it was torturing, knowing that when she is not with me, she is with him. The nights she is not sleeping beside you, she is with him. It hurts, its sucks.
But again, if that's all life is willing to give you, you take lemons and make lemonade. When she went back to her fiancé, I never regretted the time we had. In another place, another time, we would be together. Love wasn't the issue, but circumstances, timing and eventually of course fate played its hand

I believe in destiny and its fate that brought this special person to me. It might not be a conventional relationship but each moment is special.

People might laugh and say why be a third party, why not just find one and be that one. Yes, tried that, It didn't work out. Judging from the national statistics, it doesn't seem like the marriage cards are working either. E.g Jamie Yeo is going for the 3rd time.

At the end of my long discourse, what I am saying is we all are just living in the moment, trying to get by and make it to tomorrow. If tomorrow doesn't come, then lets play our hand to its fullest, whatever your choices are, stay unhappy and faithful or be unfaithful(in the conventional context) and maybe have a glimpse of happiness.

No one gets married to get divorced, no one starts having an affair to hurt another. No one falls in love to get hurt. Sometimes that's just how life is. The joke is sometimes on those who judge. A lady who judged me and my ex years back, for being a third party, ruining my marriage, causing pain to another, when her marriage failed, her husband was going for anything in a skirt, she ended up knowing a married man and has been the third party for 2 years now. She still pretends on the outside that she has all the right values, and holier than thou attitude, but as I have said, she is just trying to survive, to get to the next day.



P/s want to start a small group of people, divorced, going to, thinking about it, having extra partners, etc... sometimes a word of advice from the wiser and non judgmental people can help loads. WeChat? PM me. Bros, Sis...all welcomed.
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  #63  
Old 13-06-2017, 07:21 AM
EcchiK EcchiK is offline
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Thank you everyone for sharing your heartfelt feelings and emotions. I can understand the reasons.

My situation is a little half baked. My own marriage wasnt working well and i started confiding in a good friend of mine from the opposite sex who is also married. (*sorry but none of my guy friends are married and cant relate to my issues) We kind of support and encourage each other to fix things in our respective marriages.

Somehow we ended up becoming special to each other, but we will do all we can to keep it status quo. There was never any physical intimacy, just an exchange of the heart. Im glad for that, because its the best outcome we can ever have.

Clearly we are very close and news starts flying around. We are now trying to explain to our own spouses to clear misunderstandings. Still, emotions are rampant and things are difficult.
  #64  
Old 13-06-2017, 09:59 AM
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Re: What is the secret to long lasting affair?

Quote:
Originally Posted by EcchiK View Post
Thank you everyone for sharing your heartfelt feelings and emotions. I can understand the reasons.

My situation is a little half baked. My own marriage wasnt working well and i started confiding in a good friend of mine from the opposite sex who is also married. (*sorry but none of my guy friends are married and cant relate to my issues) We kind of support and encourage each other to fix things in our respective marriages.

Somehow we ended up becoming special to each other, but we will do all we can to keep it status quo. There was never any physical intimacy, just an exchange of the heart. Im glad for that, because its the best outcome we can ever have.

Clearly we are very close and news starts flying around. We are now trying to explain to our own spouses to clear misunderstandings. Still, emotions are rampant and things are difficult.
hi bro

its just going to be either continue the "friendship" it will definitely lead to something more

Or go cold turkey and end the special to each other status

looking forward to your update...
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  #65  
Old 13-06-2017, 12:45 PM
senters89 senters89 is offline
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Re: What is the secret to long lasting affair?

Quote:
Originally Posted by Shadow_warrior View Post
hi bro

its just going to be either continue the "friendship" it will definitely lead to something more

Or go cold turkey and end the special to each other status

looking forward to your update...

Since both partners already know, I think it better to end this status before it goes further.
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  #66  
Old 13-06-2017, 01:36 PM
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Re: What is the secret to long lasting affair?

those of u married but with affairs

where do you all usually go for your physical intimacy or sex with your affair partner?
  #67  
Old 14-06-2017, 02:11 PM
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Re: What is the secret to long lasting affair?

Thank you all for sharing your stories. This life is hard but if it comes to an end and my other man will write his experience with so much nostalgia like yang punk, senters and shadow warrior, it will make any woman's heart ache and be happy at the same time.
I wish you well. Be happy because we all deserve to be.
  #68  
Old 14-06-2017, 02:28 PM
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Re: What is the secret to long lasting affair?

Quote:
Originally Posted by cassandradream View Post
Thank you all for sharing your stories. This life is hard but if it comes to an end and my other man will write his experience with so much nostalgia like yang punk, senters and shadow warrior, it will make any woman's heart ache and be happy at the same time.
I wish you well. Be happy because we all deserve to be.
hope you guys continue writing, very interesting reads.
  #69  
Old 14-06-2017, 09:17 PM
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Shadow_warrior Shadow_warrior is offline
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Re: What is the secret to long lasting affair?

Quote:
Originally Posted by cassandradream View Post
Thank you all for sharing your stories. This life is hard but if it comes to an end and my other man will write his experience with so much nostalgia like yang punk, senters and shadow warrior, it will make any woman's heart ache and be happy at the same time.
I wish you well. Be happy because we all deserve to be.
yeah, its tough, really really really tough.

I know we stick to obligations, legal papers, societal definitions, and I wish those would bring us the romance we want, and the joy of the other half.
If it did, every couple would be happy, no one would stray.

but when everything we tries fail, we start getting miserable, frustrated, self pity, depressed. Look at many of the famous stars and famous people, they had everything but at the end their hearts told them it was meaningless. We remind ourselves of the many cases of them killing themselves over love, over a lack of meaning in their lives. The newspaper pelt us with articles of man kills wife in yuan ching, or man slashes lover/wife, or woman beats up little 3s. These people got so angry, and frustrated they lost it, logically and emotionally.
And I totally GET IT. I have been there. Romance can be sweet, but bitter as well.

For those with great marriages, kudos to you. Treasure your loved ones, they are rare and hard to find.

For those who are frustrated, I am not saying find an affair. It doesn't always work out either(as you have read, there are many many issues as well, and some make it for a while, some fail) Perhaps work on the marriage, try all ways to make it work

If all fail, and you need to follow your heart, and fate and destiny deals you a card that you have to take, then go do what your heart wants.
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  #70  
Old 17-06-2017, 01:24 AM
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Re: What is the secret to long lasting affair?

TGIF

spend it with your loved ones, as if its the last day, everyday

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  #71  
Old 17-06-2017, 10:37 AM
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Re: What is the secret to long lasting affair?

Quote:
Originally Posted by YELLOW View Post
it takes work commitment and belief in each other. ppl would ask so y dont u do the same w ur spouse??? yes .... sometimes issues and state of affairs have deteriorated to such an extent .... its not salvagable......
understand your thoughts on this, it scary when you wake up to find out your spouse is no longer your soulmate...not for lack of you trying but from their lack of interest to listen and understand...
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  #72  
Old 17-06-2017, 02:12 PM
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Re: What is the secret to long lasting affair?

Quote:
Originally Posted by HonkyTonkyMan View Post
understand your thoughts on this, it scary when you wake up to find out your spouse is no longer your soulmate...not for lack of you trying but from their lack of interest to listen and understand...
yes. when you cook and the person doesn't want to come back to eat

or when you arrange dates and the other half is not keen on your plans

or when the children are everything and you are nothing

or when you have a birthday and she says, well you have birthdays every year, its just a day

or when you are sick and they say well you are a grown man, you can take care of yourself.

when you have looked at all these responses towards your relationship, what would you do? 1. Divorce? 2. Have an affair? 3. Continue to suffer and stay married?

I think divorce is an option, but no one gets clear till its very clear, so half way through, you are suffering and staying married.

And some where in the marriage one party or both want to break free or to survive, so they might seek fl/wl or they already met someone. Sometimes the relationship is okay, and suddenly they meet someone in the office, and things change. That's when the affair starts, men and women alike.
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  #73  
Old 17-06-2017, 02:52 PM
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Re: What is the secret to long lasting affair?

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The Best Way to overcome heart break is in the arms of another. You focus on making money, you get girls, you focus on your body, you get sex, you focus on the girl, you get NOTHING but heartache and disappointment
  #74  
Old 18-06-2017, 11:35 AM
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Re: What is the secret to long lasting affair?

Quote:
Originally Posted by Shadow_warrior View Post
when you have looked at all these responses towards your relationship, what would you do? 1. Divorce? 2. Have an affair? 3. Continue to suffer and stay married?

I think divorce is an option, but no one gets clear till its very clear, so half way through, you are suffering and staying married. .
Truth be told, even in a divorce you care never in the clear not unless you both do not have other baggage and she wants to sever all ties, if not with children in tow, there is maintenance and other shits that crops up as kids grows up..honestly if you have settled down with another, this things will come back to haunt and hurt your current relationship..
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  #75  
Old 23-06-2017, 05:25 PM
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Re: What is the secret to long lasting affair?

This song really speak it all.

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