Fion's - nothing to hold on to, how to move on.

[fion.18]

Today, it's exactly two months since the end of the r/s. Possibly, the most difficult and lonely two months I've had in a long time. No more good mornings & good nights. No more random cuddles and a kiss at midday. No more him. This absence is causing such a void in my heart that I could never imagine, and it hurts. Well it's not such a surprise given he were such a huge part of my life.

So, in my bid to moving on, I decided to go meet more people and date again. And off I went on so many dates. Well the thing is each time I go on a date, I keep an open mind and hope to prove to myself that it isn't so difficult after all - i could find someone like him, anyone could come along and easily replace him. But the more dates that I go on, the more I am convince that he is the only one I want. Despite him being the ass he was (that's beside the point)

With that, Fion has spent yet another sleepless night wondering how do others move on? It's not that easy I guess when the one thing that You can never have, is the only thing You ever wanted in your life.

Share your thoughts with her.

[Johnbass]

XMM... Mai emo... You don't need to prove anything... Breakups are just part and parcel of growing up... Every xdd and xmm should go through at least once. Hopefully the next relationship will improve (if one has learnt from the past failed relationship... though some still make the same mistakes over and over again)

All the best!

"What doesn't kill you makes you stronger" - Kelly Clarkson

PS- Now I know why they like b.ass...

[rtmFRs]

you are currently addicted to emotional stroking from you partner

now is when you have free time to cultivate yourself further

go do some exercise, get fit
go learn swimming,tennis, sports etc
go to nearby community club, join some activity, learn new languages

[fion.18]

Originally Posted by Johnbass

XMM... Mai emo... You don't need to prove anything... Breakups are just part and parcel of growing up... Every xdd and xmm should go through at least once. Hopefully the next relationship will improve (if one has learnt from the past failed relationship... though some still make the same mistakes over and over again)

All the best!

"What doesn't kill you makes you stronger" - Kelly Clarkson

PS- Now I know why they like b.ass...

Xmm eh, wish I was that young thou :P
But yes I agree, I like that quote too!

[fion.18]

Originally Posted by rtmFRs

you are currently addicted to emotional stroking from you partner

now is when you have free time to cultivate yourself further

go do some exercise, get fit
go learn swimming,tennis, sports etc
go to nearby community club, join some activity, learn new languages

Addicted to Emotional stroking. Yeah makes sense.

And yes if there's anything positive about this, I'm making my gym membership so much more worth it now.

[solarflare]

The more to try to remove negative feelings, the more it stays there... spamming dates before you get over it is just a form of escapism i feel... more impt is to acknowledge what has happen and what is not meant to be.

Then move on from there. At least thats what i did. May or may not help. Good luck to you ts.

[Johnbass]

Originally Posted by fion.18

Xmm eh, wish I was that young thou :P
But yes I agree, I like that quote too!

U not 18yrs old ah? My bad...
Gym membership will kinda make u feel more lonely (I think)... Train alone... Many hunks (but mostly gays)... Many gals(but mostly bitches)...

Surround yourself with positive people (like me!) and time will heal.

[Wintermelontea]

Is this an open invitation for guys to ask you out?


Ok, I think you can try to go on holidays with your bffs. Spend more "I, me, myself" time as 2 months may not be enough for you since you are still missing him somewhat. Give yourself the space and do not think about him in that manner that you still miss him. Think of him as a good time that you have invested in. Time can never be brought back. Move on.

As for the numerous dates, there is no right or wrong. Just a matter of appreciation. Think it this way, at least you are still getting dates? Importantly, don't try too hard with the next relationship. Learn to relax and see the good and bad of your date. I suspect you are looking only for the good in your every date just to replace him or the memories of him. No way that is gonna happen as everyone is unique.

Your biological clock is ticking and thus you may involuntarily fall into the "looking for significant other" syndrome while not allowing yourself to be fully immersed in the date itself.

Relax, chill and have a cuppa. It will soon be over.

[Ayakata]

going dates may not solve the problem because your mind still have him. you may consider spend more times with your girlfriends. hanging out, chill and just talk anything under the sky. forgetting about guys. just girlfriends time. sooner, you will slowly back on track, you will not think about him anymore. as in, not those missing feel. so then, you may start dating again with your open heart and mind. remember, love yourself as always before allowing others to love you. cheers

[fion.18]

Originally Posted by solarflare

The more to try to remove negative feelings, the more it stays there... spamming dates before you get over it is just a form of escapism i feel... more impt is to acknowledge what has happen and what is not meant to be.

Then move on from there. At least thats what i did. May or may not help. Good luck to you ts.

You hit right where it hurts. Yes, that was my way of escape. Date nights meant it's doesn't sound lonely rite. But unfortunately makes me feel even more empty than I already am haha.

[fion.18]

Originally Posted by Wintermelontea

don't try too hard with the next relationship. Learn to relax and see the good and bad of your date. I suspect you are looking only for the good in your every date just to replace him or the memories of him. No way that is gonna happen as everyone is unique.

Your biological clock is ticking and thus you may involuntarily fall into the "looking for significant other" syndrome while not allowing yourself to be fully immersed in the date itself.

To be exact I was looking for traces of 'him' in all the guys I was out with. So unfair and mean of me hey. I just need to snap out of it and yes my biological clock is ticking. Doesn't help to see proposal / pregnancy updates pop up in Facebook almost every week! But agree, just take things slow and see how it turns out for me

Originally Posted by Johnbass

U not 18yrs old ah? My bad...
Gym membership will kinda make u feel more lonely (I think)... Train alone... Many hunks (but mostly gays)... Many gals(but mostly bitches)...

Surround yourself with positive people (like me!) and time will heal.

Not 18 laaa! I go for classes with my gal friends at gym so not as bad. Yes I need positive people in my life!

[fion.18]

Originally Posted by Ayakata

going dates may not solve the problem because your mind still have him. you may consider spend more times with your girlfriends. hanging out, chill and just talk anything under the sky. forgetting about guys. just girlfriends time. sooner, you will slowly back on track, you will not think about him anymore. as in, not those missing feel. so then, you may start dating again with your open heart and mind. remember, love yourself as always before allowing others to love you. cheers

👍 thank you! Yes! Love yourself before you can be loved. That I will remember

[jnudes]

It took me years to move on from my ex. She's married and got 3 kids. We never meet again after our break-up and I only got to know her latest through her Facebook account.

Want to forget your ex as fast as you can? Well that depends on how deep you love him. The deeper you love him the longer it takes to forget him. Of course if you get involved with lots of social activities is going to help you to forget him faster.

[happywoody]

sis fion, i remember this from a movie a long time ago ...
" the old must go away, so the new can come ... "

go meet more people but not wif the intention of filling the void.
the special place was his, and it's OK to keep it empty for a while.
through other's eyes see urself a witty, thoughtful individual who's wise to the world. n u make wonderful company.

make friends. taste the rain. smell the sunshine.

and live again.

[Johnbass]

Originally Posted by fion.18

Not 18 laaa! I go for classes with my gal friends at gym so not as bad. Yes I need positive people in my life!

Lai Lai!!!
Give you positive 1!!!
You need new and single FB (Facebook) frens!
Who knows... When you're not looking for Him, He may just appear before you!