Confession of a bastard

Freman · #1 04-08-2007, 02:17 PM

Do you believe in fate ?

I've been on the cheong scene for a long time, mostly roaming among the irc channels. I would say that my first irc session was at least a good 8-9 years back.

Back then, during the age of innocence, things were alot simplier and gals were alot easier to hook. It was during this time that I first met adeline. Without going into great details, she was easy going during the chat and pretty fun loving and best of all, only 16 yrs old. Being at that age, I was able to kinda boast about my experience and introduce her to many of the forbidden pleasures of sex. Being the naive sec sch gal with a whole lorry load of family problem, she just wanted a friend (mature perhaps to listen to her problems) and was also entice by the many stories that I told her.

I can't exactly remember the exact circumstances (it was 8 years ago) but we met and we fucked. Being the horny bastard that I was then, I wasn't interested in much about her except her pussy and tits. In short, I was just making use of her. And, again, being the horny bastard that I was during that time, I didn't really care less. We screwed for a few sessions, she would complain about her school, the guys around her and her family problems. yada yada yada. I did my best to feign interest but was in truth waiting for my cock to re-charge. This was how it went for a couple of months.

The last time I saw adeline, she was in trouble, apparently gotten bang up by some guy and 2 months pregnant. It was pretty vague, but I remember bringing her to the ATM, and drawing $300 bucks for her (she wasn't a FL but I reckon she needs the dough for abortion etc). And being the horny bastard that I was (3rd time saying), we actually proceed to a hotel and bang, this time, shooting straight in (reasoning that since she is already preg, what the heck). I know guys, it's not safe etc but that was 8 years ago.

That was the last I saw of adeline, cos subsequently, I was spending a great deal of time overseas (due to work). She called me a couple of times but I was overseas and didn't wanted to entertain this 'problem kid'. Satisfied that I made off with several rounds of sex with a mere $300.

Geessh, thinking back, all these years, I realised what a jerk I was, to have treated someone whom, from what I can recall, treated me with sincerity and love (in a way) and how I wasn't even bothered with her as a person and was just looking for a hole to fill my urge. Betrayal, destroying her faith in guys and adults (she was 16, I was 32). She must have really hated me.

Such are the emotions called regret. All these years, I never really have forgotten what I did. Each time I was feeling miserable (work, family etc), I would sit back in my room and turn on my fav stack of sad songs (mp3), the only way I know how to ride out my sorrow. And each time, I would remember adeline, how I met her, seduce her, misled her and how I made use of her. On our first meet up, she wore her fav skirt that her mom bought from australia, all I can think of was ripping it off the moment she got into the car and closed the door. Somehow, I would conclude that whatever ass luck that has happened to me, it was probably heaven's way of punishing me. I probably deserved it, in another word.

Zoom back to the present, 2007. I would dare say that I'm still as horny as ever, but no longer a bastard. Sex is no longer a 1 sided enjoyment of my part but joined pleasure between me and the girl. I learnt to talk, and learn more about the person, to be sincere and to be honest (I quit telling gals that I was single, and opt to reveal my married status). Different people look for the comfort of sex for different reasons. I realised that girls could and would sometime accept my status and would offer their friendship in return. This was how things were, I would feel happy and proud on how I was handling this situation. Yet, from the distant past, the name adeline keeps surfacing and I know there's a special spot in hell that the devil had save for me.

So that was the case, I was roaming in my fav channel once again, trying my luck on gals, and finally managed to strike up a rather interesting conversation with a new gal. We talked about stuff, fantasies and kinks and got ourselves worked up till a stage when I pop the magical (wanna chat on phone ?) Q. To my surprise, the answer was a swift Yes, and we chatted on the phone, a good hour or so. She's just my type, intelligence, witty, holds a great job (she's an engineering and doing night classes as well).

So there we were, exhausted and panting on the phone at 3 am in the morning, and I believed I hit the correct chord, she gave me her msn id and told me that she's going to grab a bite and was going to pop into msn cos she needs to check on some email.

I quickly ran to my computer (praying that I wouldn't forget her msn email addy) and behold, she was online, munching on her grass jelly.

we chatted more, and my liking of her was growing. I think she must have felt the same way...

"so is there a face behind the voice ?"

I knew what she wanted. Heck, I'm a pretty ordinary guy, plain, at best.. but somehow, I felt it was okie. So I clicked on my 'change display picture' and loaded up one of my 'best effort' photo.

She did the same, and a photo of a lady in a nice evening dress came up. Since it was full body photo, the face was really small but overall, it was a lovely photo.

hmmmm... MSN seems to be suffering from one of it's notorious hang up session, or she must have gone to the toilet. For the screen paused for about a min or 2. I was thinking at the back of my mind. *FUCK* another failed attempt, gal probably realised that she was talking to a dirty old man.

In the dead of the night, seconds seem like minutes. And eventually, a single message flashes across my msn window.

"did you say your name is william ?"

-------------------------------------------------------------------------

btw, this is not a story. Everything is real, names have been changed however.