Sex Life after Marriage

[Happy Forever]

That the problem with us men.We tend to take for granted our spouse.Before marriage always loving,after marriage/child birth it starts going downhill for majority.It begin to get kind of monotonous and we begin to lose interest.

We always look at other people wife as desirable and likewise others will look at our wife with desire.Maybe should start a club,haha.

[Frankiestine]

Originally Posted by Fade

Well, my hubby did not witness the birth of our baby as i gave birth via C-Sect. When he saw our baby, she is already nicely cleaned and wrapped up. So no bloody and gruesome sights.

that crap excuse i have seen two wives given birth and have never been turned off sex with them...in fact for my second oc i simply couldn't keep my hands off her when she was pregnant because some how i found her to be sexier not that she isn't in the first place...

I am feeling very helpless now. I told my hubby that i will never initiate ML ever again until he is ready to take the initiative. Guys, is it possible for a man not to masturbathe at all for many many months? When i perform BJ for my hubby, he had no problem with getting a hard on,

well take heart gal, u are not the only one going thru such problems, we guys also faced similar problems with our oc....but honestly i really dun believe a man can go for months without releasing...

but seems like he is not producing much semen as well.

i dun think there is any relationship btwn the volume of sperm and the sex drive..

[RamBro]

Hi fade. I'm sorry to hear about your situation. Especially so early on in your marriage. I am in the same situation as you - my wifey has not interest in sex at all, and really never has (we have been married many years). Like your hubby seems to love you, my wife loves me, but the physical side of love is missing.

To me, and I think to you too, the physical side of love is just as important as the emotional side - we need to make love with our partners to feel that our loving relationship is complete. besides that, making love is fun obviously and most of us enjoy it!!!

Sadly, we all have different levels of libido (sex drive) and for most couples, one has a higher sex drive than the other. Unless we live together for a long time, we don't find this out until after we are married.

In your case your hubby has stopped having sex totally with you, which sounds more than just a difference in sex drive levels. To me, this could be due to one of two reasons:

1. He is highly stressed and therefore has no desire for sex (when I am highly stressed it kills my normally high libido)

2. He is having an affair.

I know that you are certain that he is not having an affair, and the last thing that you would wish to hear, especially so soon after marriage is this, but believe me, some guys can be very good at hiding such things.

From what you say it may just be that he does have a low sex drive and the whole deal with you becoming pregnant, giving birth and now bringing up your little girl is too much for him sexually.

Communications is always the best thing in these situations. I know that you have tried talking with him about it but it may be best to try and get him to come along and see a counsellor.

I really hope that you can find an answer - I know what it is like living in a sexless marriage, even when your spouse does love you.

[jomblo]

hi fade..i think i can give u the best answer..becoz i am in similar situation as ur husband and u but maybe not 100%..i was kindoff force into marriage becoz of shot gun...so i no choice...then i never ml for so long until child born..then i saw the blood, the baby coming out...everything..sewing back the vagina etc...quite yuakksss...

then after that a bit turn off alreadi...months later it took me quite hard to screw my wife..becoz of the image still in my mind..but later on... i feel..nothing much different in the dark...

but...if u naked now...i think there is scar or other different things on ur belly or the area near it rite?.. i dun blame u or any woman for it..but to "me" ( i dunno other bros here) ...is kind of like different product from original..

also , can i ask how heavy are u?..becoz my wife also put on weight but still consider slim compare to other milf...but alreadi put on weight..not like last time..slim, thin, light, etc...so the interest is a bit gone alrreadi.....

so for me..i do ml with her becoz i duwan her to need it n find outside...but not so often...last time dating, everyweek stay over my place,..sure bonk...now maybe 1 every week or twice a week...i rather pcc thinkin of other woman etc..more sexciting...

else..i go out wack other girl who are frens... or pay money for massage etc.. this is the truth...

ur hubby may report to u every min..but he onli need the few seconds to release...so it is still possible...also..please think this analogy which i always tell my frens..." if all ur relative, father, brother etc dun go geylang n find chicken..then where do the crowd come from?"

my long story may hurts u...but we can share n discuss...

lastly...i did bonk my fren who now is ppl wife n give birth to 1 child...n i enjoy it so much...becoz the excitement is there..

pls dun zap me..i juz trying to share

[Book-keeper]

Originally Posted by jomblo

hi fade..i think i can give u the best answer..becoz i am in similar situation as ur husband and u but maybe not 100%..i was kindoff force into marriage becoz of shot gun...so i no choice...then i never ml for so long until child born..then i saw the blood, the baby coming out...everything..sewing back the vagina etc...quite yuakksss...

then after that a bit turn off alreadi...months later it took me quite hard to screw my wife..becoz of the image still in my mind..but later on... i feel..nothing much different in the dark...

but...if u naked now...i think there is scar or other different things on ur belly or the area near it rite?.. i dun blame u or any woman for it..but to "me" ( i dunno other bros here) ...is kind of like different product from original..

also , can i ask how heavy are u?..becoz my wife also put on weight but still consider slim compare to other milf...but alreadi put on weight..not like last time..slim, thin, light, etc...so the interest is a bit gone alrreadi.....

so for me..i do ml with her becoz i duwan her to need it n find outside...but not so often...last time dating, everyweek stay over my place,..sure bonk...now maybe 1 every week or twice a week...i rather pcc thinkin of other woman etc..more sexciting...

else..i go out wack other girl who are frens... or pay money for massage etc.. this is the truth...

ur hubby may report to u every min..but he onli need the few seconds to release...so it is still possible...also..please think this analogy which i always tell my frens..." if all ur relative, father, brother etc dun go geylang n find chicken..then where do the crowd come from?"

my long story may hurts u...but we can share n discuss...

lastly...i did bonk my fren who now is ppl wife n give birth to 1 child...n i enjoy it so much...becoz the excitement is there..

pls dun zap me..i juz trying to share

I do agree to some extend on what jomblo said.

But I find it rare and hard to believe that a man will not advance to a woman when she do a bj to you. I always believe a man is horny by nature unless he is ED or no longer has any feeling.

In fact, I like breast feeding woman as I find her breasts will be damn sweet.

As a man, I can understand what your husband is thinking as I can't wait to ml to my wife after she has given birth... For me, it is the other way around...

[Frankiestine]

one other possibility is......could he be gay?

end of the day fade, it is for you and your hubby to trash it out and find out what is the actual reason why he does not seems keen to make love to you...all the advice we gave here are just purely speculative...

[newyorker88]

It is possible that your hubby is under some kind of stress. Could be disease or work stress.

1) seek help asap, dont drag. The longer you drag over this problem, the more painful it will be later.

2) Get marriage counselling.

3) Talk to your hubby, ask him what is the problem. Remind him that a marriage is between 2 person, and both of you got to get the act together. Both of you are facing a huge problem, and that could affect your child too.


Hope this helps. End of the day, brothers here can only advise, you need to do the act yourself.

[edwin58yock]

Go fo a honeymoon oversea and see what the result?

[geckoSG]

My Lady,

If stress is not bothering your hubby, 90% he has lost interest in you.
Could be due to some misunderstanding between u and him. Or he has found
someone whom have capture his heart.

If he used to cum alot, but now not able to... He must have DIY til no more,
or fired off somewhere... He may be gay for all we know, or Bi-sexual, can't
say anything more since I dun know him.

But go seek professional help, if not, you may have to live with it, just focus
to bring up your kid, if u need love, look for a soulmate and this may just
compensate your feel and needs.

Many would say I am teaching u the bad. But it may also help you balance
your emotional and sexual needs. So when you get home, even when he does
not have interest in you, your main focus is your child. If he finds the
interest back with you, its up to you to decide if you still needs your soulmate
or not.

Best of both worlds, but be careful on selecting soulmates... dun get into
sticky situations... For now, please concentrate on your child... You may
also be suffering from post-delivery stress, seek help from your doc first, let
them access your condition. PM me if u wanna chat.

Hope things goes back normal for ya.

[dec_gal]

Dear Sis,

monitor his movement... not that u dun trust him... but hv to monitor...
U never know what ur loved one actually can do behind ur back..... ( u know what i mean )

Sorry if i hv been too direct or maybe is wrong.. and of course I hope I'm wrong too.

jus quote u my case, my ex started to know a young gal through msn when my child is jus one mth old.... affair started...and in the end.. sorry... is "d" .

Of course not every guy are the same.. however, if u hv make the 1st move, yet he is not very "interested" ... is not right ...

Hope everything goes fine with u. take care! and don't stress too much .. you still hv a child to take care .

[izerkudie]

try having a heart to heart talk with him..let him knows how u feel and the importance of making love, its not only pleasure..but also creating love and bonding, closeness.. all the best

[Peugeot]

Originally Posted by dec_gal

Dear Sis,

monitor his movement... not that u dun trust him... but hv to monitor...
U never know what ur loved one actually can do behind ur back..... ( u know what i mean )

Sorry if i hv been too direct or maybe is wrong.. and of course I hope I'm wrong too.

jus quote u my case, my ex started to know a young gal through msn when my child is jus one mth old.... affair started...and in the end.. sorry... is "d" .

Of course not every guy are the same.. however, if u hv make the 1st move, yet he is not very "interested" ... is not right ...

Hope everything goes fine with u. take care! and don't stress too much .. you still hv a child to take care .

TOTALLY agreed.. " don't stress too much .. you still hv a child to take care "

I suggest you and him go for a nice holiday and perform some stunt on him.. This will help provide some spark yah!

[raiders]

Originally Posted by Frankiestine

Damn we should exchange partners, cos my oc also bring PSP to bed and play until she fall asleep...always leaving me high and dry...i think she gets her orgasm playing from the game then making love with me...

Damn monster Frankie gets beaten to it by a PSP...

She must be busy playing with "Incredible Hulk" lah

[AvatarZ]

Hi Fade,

I think that your hubby is going through some transition period whereby he is getting unusally high life changing stress. I married my wife and 1 year later have a bb, yet it is still a life changing experience with having a baby and being a father so maybe he is not yet ready to take up the responsibilities and feels too stressed to consider sex. Anyway, you need to let him know that you are there for him and everything can be solved together. Just my point of view.

[Highjoys]

Originally Posted by dec_gal

Dear Sis,

monitor his movement... not that u dun trust him... but hv to monitor...
U never know what ur loved one actually can do behind ur back..... ( u know what i mean )

Sorry if i hv been too direct or maybe is wrong.. and of course I hope I'm wrong too.

jus quote u my case, my ex started to know a young gal through msn when my child is jus one mth old.... affair started...and in the end.. sorry... is "d" .

Of course not every guy are the same.. however, if u hv make the 1st move, yet he is not very "interested" ... is not right ...

Hope everything goes fine with u. take care! and don't stress too much .. you still hv a child to take care .

Well, agreed. Anyway divorce is very common nowadays, so is adultery. Really you cannot take it too hard but u must clarify your doubts. We all got a long way to go so dun be crumbled by one setback in life if there is any. Meanwhile try to find out why and save the situation first.