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Matters of the Heart. Has a Commercial Fuck turned into a torrid Love Affair which has turned your life upside down? Fear not. We have experts here who can help you through your roller coaster ride. Tell us your story and we'll do our best to help.

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  #61  
Old 05-07-2017, 04:45 PM
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Re: Typical story of a dumb girl

Nice after thoughts...... 😂
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  #62  
Old 14-08-2017, 01:59 AM
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Re: Typical story of a dumb girl

Quote:
Originally Posted by Xyberduke View Post
LEAVE HIM. Don't spare another thought on this issue. You know what to do but lacked the courage, and fear losing something you know you will never get in the first place. There are plenty of guys out there who can do better. And you deserve better.


Unless of course you are just treating him like a fuck buddy
You hit the nail on the head. Every word. I read your words more than 5 times.. again and again. I don't know why I am just so weak to not even be able to imagine myself becoming happier and better..... I wonder a lot if it's because I've chosen a guy whom I like too, toooo much.
  #63  
Old 14-08-2017, 02:23 AM
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Re: Typical story of a dumb girl

Quote:
Originally Posted by Megatronzombie View Post
See thw similarities here? You were her at the beginning. Now let me continue with my story. Let me tell you my perspective aka your daddy's (minus the sugar) perspective.
Sorry, took some time off I don't even know why. Checked back and saw all of the continued posts here, thanks all for reading my case.

When you said "You were her at the beginning.", were you saying that
it's not possible things stay that way, with me wanting minimal from him?

How should I say this.... I felt heart-warmed after reading your story with the 26yo. What you did was difficult yet you did it - you chose to look away, even though she was already presenting herself to you on a platter. If you didn't, then it would have gotten more difficult when the day comes to you having to end the affair / when things blow out of proportion. I wish I am able to logic things out like you can. It seems like you really do want the best for her and wish her well. Even though while at mbs, you still wanted to f her brains out and you still fought it - seems like you're someone with a lot of good self control. And I am sorry that your marriage is that way, and about what your wife did.... hope things work out.

I totally lack self control. I lack the self-control to not be involved with a married man, and when we fight, my temper get so fury I've gone crazy many times which I believe have turned him off in many occassions. And I think through this affair.. I learned a lot about myself, I realised all of my flaws, which is not helping with my overall being. I don't even see what strengths I have at all. I have been feeling extremely down and I would say depressed.

At this stage, there's also a lot of angst. I'm really surprised by how deep I feel for him. I am extremely half-hearted at ending things between us. I know these sort of relationships aren't good becus obviously if he's a cheater, he's highly likely screwing other girls too. And I can't find out, so there's a lot of risk involved.

My heart really wants to continue the affair but I fear the day I get dumped. I seem to be believing a lot of things he says. But my system is trying to be defensive, so I'm always messing up how to handle the r/s. I am so stuck that I don't know how to move on and greatly fear that I will be in this shadow of not being able to get over him in the long run. I have always searching online "How to get out of an affair", "How to move on", "How to let go"... yet my head and heart is actually not willing to, and I am frustrated with how stubborn I am. All I've read on how to let go is step 1: Make the decision to do so. And I can't even do it. I don't know what I want. And I've become a very bitter person. I'm no longer contented with what I have simply becus of this 1 man. I can't believe myself too. Even though I'm able to reason out things like this guy's not good if he can cheat on his wife this way, etc.

I don't know how to wish him well and walk away. I wish the feeling will just fade. But no, it seems like it's precisely becus it's an affair, illicit as hell, hence the limited time spent with each other and the element of not being able to have each other is precisely causing me to want him more. The desire is strong.

He doesn't treat me badly. But he's not the best in treatment either, and the problem I have with that, is I feel he's doing that on purpose, with massive 'reservations'. I want to see him all let loose. And perhaps it's because I think he is very 'reserved', that I am bitter about it.

Sometimes I wonder if it's better to just piss him off so bad that he will just dump me so I have no choice but to deal with the card that's dealt to me (i.e. forced to deal with getting dumped) and then try to mend my broken heart. But oh wait, I don't want to get dumped. HA. Do I sound like I have biopolar yet?

Perhaps my biggest problem is that I don't love myself enough to eject myself from this pain. See me at it again? I know I'm walking in pain but I am still walking. At times I wonder if I'm just stuck in a very serious case of obsession. This addiction.
  #64  
Old 14-08-2017, 03:49 AM
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Re: Typical story of a dumb girl

I think there is still no closure between u and him. Bro Alkz "3 point" possible outcomes (first page) pretty much nails it, conclusion wise. My 2cents is u need to work on yrself first. Have a clear picture on who u are at this point, what r yr values, and what do want as ideal outcome. (key word: ideal).

On a slightly unrelated note, Boss Sammyboy has a useful thread on "Help with Depression and Self Esteem Issues" under Sexual Health Issues. Pls have a look.

This local blogger, self help guru has good straight to the point insight. None of these Law of Attraction bullshit. Urge u to check it out out https://personalexcellence.co/articles/
  #65  
Old 14-08-2017, 03:32 PM
Donrico Donrico is offline
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Re: Typical story of a dumb girl

Well girl, sometimes we have to lose inorder to win. The addiction is just an excuse for yourself. Nobody wants to lose in love but sometimes shit happens. Know this, if shit can happen so can miracles. You're not that stupid, don't hide behind excuses. You can take charge of your life if you really want to. Don't waste precious time on finicking & the amorphous. Time waits for no man or woman, its our most precious asset. Love can fade with time , think about doing something with your life that will withstand the test of time. Best of luck!
  #66  
Old 16-08-2017, 11:31 PM
allidoispvm allidoispvm is offline
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Smile Re: Typical story of a dumb girl

after seeing all these advice, i think it is very clear... you have to pull yourself out of this **** hole asap.

Reasons being:

1) By maintaining status quo, you are losing out on so much more(you can meet better guys out there and have a legit r/s...)

2) You are not getting younger... Think for your parents if not for yourself, when you want to play around until? Until you are in your 40/50s and die forever alone?

3) Why are you doing this for? (If it is for the sex then link to point 1 and 2... you can still get it in a real r/s and not be used like now)

All in all, sis, you have to stop this toxic relationship, for your own good... i know you can do it
  #67  
Old 17-08-2017, 12:56 AM
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Re: Typical story of a dumb girl

You are not the first, and you wun be the last. Just be smarter next time..
  #68  
Old 19-08-2017, 10:44 PM
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Re: Typical story of a dumb girl

Quote:
Originally Posted by allidoispvm View Post
after seeing all these advice, i think it is very clear... you have to pull yourself out of this **** hole asap.

Reasons being:

1) By maintaining status quo, you are losing out on so much more(you can meet better guys out there and have a legit r/s...)

2) You are not getting younger... Think for your parents if not for yourself, when you want to play around until? Until you are in your 40/50s and die forever alone?

3) Why are you doing this for? (If it is for the sex then link to point 1 and 2... you can still get it in a real r/s and not be used like now)

All in all, sis, you have to stop this toxic relationship, for your own good... i know you can do it
What you said is true, especially point 2). Through this, I've also realized how bad of a child I am. Yet I am still stuck as ever, not knowing how to push forward. Not even with a desire to improve. So I'm just burying myself alive each day, only realizing each morning that I'm still not buried. And I'm just breathing in the soil and suffering, but the weight of the soil from self-burying is pinning me down.

Does anyone know where I can get started with counselling in Singapore, with full confidentiality?
  #69  
Old 20-08-2017, 11:20 PM
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Re: Typical story of a dumb girl

Leave him. You will be kept hanging on forever and ever and ever.
I'm sure you know by now he will not leave his wife for you right, so you can get old, waste your youth years on him, and until you grow white hair either from age or frustration. By then regret will be late.

He is using you. You are his sex toy. He will not get divorced over a sex toy.

Even in the rarest case, if he divorce his wife and settle into a LTR with you, you will age one day. When you're 50yrs old, are you sure he will not dump you for a new younger sexier chick?

You should spend time with other people is your friends andor colleagues. Meet new interesting people who does not use you.
Build a quality relationship with someone who treasures you. Sex would be great also with the lucky guy, he will fulfill you both physically and mentally


Leave this bastard
  #70  
Old 17-10-2017, 10:20 PM
AhKong69 AhKong69 is offline
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Re: Typical story of a dumb girl

The life of a mistress will never be anything less than a complicated one. Tread carefully and remember that certain lines he will not cross since you are the second one. You also have a boyfriend to consider..so remember to take time out for yourself to think straight before making any decisions. Whichever path you choose will probably haunt you for quite awhile. Sorry to sound negative..but these kinds of RL are never easy or simple. Anything else can pm me
  #71  
Old 17-10-2017, 10:48 PM
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Re: Typical story of a dumb girl

Dear Sis TS Stupiost,

You look down on yourself. You use words on yourself that hurt yourself.
There are better guys out there who will take better care of you.
More sunshine elsewhere.
Just look away and walk away.

  #72  
Old 18-10-2017, 12:04 PM
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Re: Typical story of a dumb girl

there is love if you want it, don't sound like i'm sonnet.

learn to look for love at the right guy, don't sell yourself short.

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Last edited by arsenal_84; 22-10-2017 at 02:45 PM.
  #73  
Old 05-11-2017, 02:47 PM
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Re: Typical story of a dumb girl

Choose your choice of path. Dun regret. Move forward.
  #74  
Old 07-11-2017, 06:29 AM
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Re: Typical story of a dumb girl

Just learn from the mistake and walk away.
  #75  
Old 05-12-2017, 01:27 PM
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Re: Typical story of a dumb girl

Just sharing my little experience I had:

1. Why not choose to be with someone who actually isn’t married? You could have better prospects than with a married man. If you loved being pampered there are plenty of people out there who will pamper you.

2. A married man isn’t called one without a reason. What makes you think you can outplay him without taking damage to both physically and mentally. Right now you aren’t getting any benefit at all 吃亏到底.

3. If you loved him there are things you need to be upfront/说清楚 and not love senselessly. In future what will become of you when you are in a dangerous situation right now? Don’t forget you are pretty much expandable now.
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