Ruler Loong to issue Kelantan Style Alcohol ban to placate pious Moslems

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Transmodified from hxxp://www.channelnewsasia.com/news/singapore/govt-seeks-public/898802.html

PEASANTPORE: Regime lackeys in Peasantpore are exploring ways to impose Kelantan style limits on alcohol in public spaces.

The Ministry of Gestapo and regime spy channel REACH are pretending to seek public opinions on Ruler Loong's latest Alcohol Prohibition decree from Monday till the end of the year.

Only the 'ayes' will be available at the REACH website.

The public can submit their feedback to [email protected] but a subtle warning will be given to those who try balk Ruler Loong's decree and they will be told to submit their particulars.

A ministry statement issued on Monday said the Alcohol Prohibition measures are meant to pacify enraged pious moslems who are not permitted to don tudung in regime workplaces.

Only mission school boys will believe the intent is to protect the peasantry, particularly nehs, from binge drinking and beating up their wives or drunken Ang Moh louts who often beat up local peasants for fun.

Suddenly Peasants' Representatives and peasants arose from the abyss, claiming to be living near congregation hotspots such as Robertson Quay and Little India raised concerns that the drinking problems have posed safety issues. In particular the Ang Moh drunken louts who cause big disturbance to the community, let alone the drunken bapoks who then proceed with their sex orgies.

In the same vein, the regime suggests relatively cheap liquor is abundant where convenience stores operate. To be pious, the regime lackeys have proposed shortening the hours a peasant can buy alcohol at retail outlets.

Nur Syafiqah who is obviously reading off a script said: “Our logic is very simple one lor, if you can buy cheap liquor, then you sure drink alcohol and get drunk. Once drunk, sure create trouble, beat up wives, local peasants or indulge in drunk driving, so a Kelantan style Alcohol Prohibition makes sense. If alcohol easily available, how can people stay sober or pious?"

To make the ban look more innocent, a PRC Commie was roped in to say something. Huang Jie, clearly a PRC banker, said: “Kelantan forward looking man, and I am glad we are aping them to show others that we can be pious. Next is to introduce stoning for adultery or chopping off hands of a petty thief, they say deterrence is more effective, similar to Qin style Legalist practice! I like! Plus Commie PRC now export cheap wines laced with Methanol, hence this ban is good idea."

However influential merchants and Ang Moh louts are lobbying that zoned public spaces where alcohol consumption is prohibited should not fall under the Kelantanese style ban.

Indraneh Rajah, Senior Minion of Regime for Kangaroo Law and Education Propoganda, said: "Do not get carried away and while trying to act pious ok, pub merchants pay decent taxes and you don't want to stop Ang Mohs or Bapoks from getting drunk so that they continue to beat local peasants or organize sex orgies. If merchants pay the sin tax, then I think they should able to do sell their cheap alcohol in the right place known as their pubs. You surely do not want to turn Peasantpore into a mini-Kelantan right?"

During this time, Yakult, leader of the Moslem Peasants' Representatives, is keep quiet. He is probably mulling whether to setup a Religious Poodles Squad to patrol the no-alcohol zones or enforce liquor-sale curfews.

Public aka peasants' feedback has been sought to help craft a workable solution but this approach was never taken during the Casinos' Debates.

Dairy Farm Peasantpore, which manages 7-Eleven convenience stores across the island, said the proposed measures are stupid because if peasants want to kill themselves with cheap PRC made alcohol, as merchants, they have no qualms selling it for profits but to act pious, it supports public education on responsible alcohol abuses.

Others have suggested using Kelantan style Religious Poodles to ensure that any alcohol-fuelled party does not turn from revelry for some into a bapok theme sex orgy.


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