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Re: Fion's - nothing to hold on to, how to move on.
I just gone through a rough patch too. 2 years relationship, so I know exactly how you feel. There's 4 stages that happens when you lose a loved one, denial, anger, depression, then acceptance. I don't even know which stage I'm at right now.
I read an article somewhere and it enlightened me a little - if that someone wanted you as much as you want him or thought he wanted you, then he would have put in the effort to keep it that way, but he didn't. And what's broken is broken, it will never be the same again anyway. Delete all contact, photos, videos, emails, messages. Focus on improving yourself even more, use the time to do what you were not doing or able to do during that time.
Exercising is scientifically proven to release endorphins so you should feel better after. But I've still had days where sadness and loneliness just overwhelms me. Nonetheless, try to 化悲傷成力量, don't know my Chinese correct or not. Haha. Time will fade the pain, but it is up to ourselves to decide to move on.
Re: Fion's - nothing to hold on to, how to move on.
Quote:
Originally Posted by fion.18
With that, Fion has spent yet another sleepless night wondering how do others move on?
Quote:
Originally Posted by fion.18
It's not that easy I guess when the one thing that You can never have, is the only thing You ever wanted in your life.
Quote:
Originally Posted by fion.18
Share your thoughts with her.
Please kindly help me to share with her that I have found an apple tree that needs her immediate attention! This apple tree has not been watered for years. & most importantly, what she is going through now is just a shadow of an apple among the tree winding, beneath the tree. Only when she starts looking up, can she realized how beautiful is this apple tree.
"
S
o
m
e
t
i
m
e
s the hardest thing & the right thing are the same.."
Re: Fion's - nothing to hold on to, how to move on.
I do not know if my situation is in any relation to yours, but I had 1 bad breakup and it took me more than 10 yrs to get it out of my system.
It is hard and painful at the beginning, yes you feel the emptiness, sense of loss and not knowing your direction. Work to me was the best source to overcome this because when working I felt a sense of belonging and responsibility at the same time, it keeps my mind occupied. However, I did have a very good friend with me for the whole of 10yrs, and she was constantly with me, going out with me for drinks after work. Even at pubs there were guys interested in me, i kept looking for someone like him but couldn't find. I had finally gave up even going for dates and dismissed all invitations from any guys. As days become weeks and weeks become months and months become years, it's just gets easier.
Now, I try to get out and meet people but prefer in groups or back to my comfort zone of drinks, and steer away from any guys that's interested in me, because I do not have another 10years to heal the pain.
And the rule of thumb is - LOVE yourself, above all else.
__________________
Pisces are ULTIMATE sluts in bed, gian song till you feel like a damn PORN STAR!
Scorpios are willing to go to the extreme to please you
Aries IS the ULTIMATE SEX GOD!
Re: Fion's - nothing to hold on to, how to move on.
Quote:
Originally Posted by armour88
There's 4 stages that happens when you lose a loved one, denial, anger, depression, then acceptance. I don't even know which stage I'm at right now.
I read an article somewhere and it enlightened me a little - if that someone wanted you as much as you want him or thought he wanted you, then he would have put in the effort to keep it that way, but he didn't. And what's broken is broken, it will never be the same again anyway.
I think I don't know where I am at too. Seems like a little bit of everything haha! But yes I know if he wanted me as much as I did he would have made more effort. Truth hurts! Thank you got your kind words & good luck to you (and me!) as we learn to move on
Re: Fion's - nothing to hold on to, how to move on.
Quote:
Originally Posted by discordpiggy
It is hard and painful at the beginning, yes you feel the emptiness, sense of loss and not knowing your direction.
And the rule of thumb is - LOVE yourself, above all else.
Hey babe! Yes! That emptiness, I so hate it. But yes I know, love myself. And because I do I know I deserve better. Just that getting thru this period is tough but so thankful for all the kind words here
I quite admire you thou, I've never been independent so I end up always getting myself hurt. I sometimes wonder if I was stronger maybe I'll be happier
Quote:
Originally Posted by HappyOwl
Please kindly help me to share with her that I have found an apple tree that needs her immediate attention! This apple tree has not been watered for years. & most importantly, what she is going through now is just a shadow of an apple among the tree winding, beneath the tree. Only when she starts looking up, can she realized how beautiful is this
Thank you happyowl! You put a smile on my face this mrng! So much effort and so sweet! I think I've heard his apple tree thingy before and I liked it. thank you!
Re: Fion's - nothing to hold on to, how to move on.
Quote:
Originally Posted by fion.18
Today, it's exactly two months since the end of the r/s. Possibly, the most difficult and lonely two months I've had in a long time. No more good mornings & good nights. No more random cuddles and a kiss at midday. No more him. This absence is causing such a void in my heart that I could never imagine, and it hurts. Well it's not such a surprise given he were such a huge part of my life.
So, in my bid to moving on, I decided to go meet more people and date again. And off I went on so many dates. Well the thing is each time I go on a date, I keep an open mind and hope to prove to myself that it isn't so difficult after all - i could find someone like him, anyone could come along and easily replace him. But the more dates that I go on, the more I am convince that he is the only one I want. Despite him being the ass he was (that's beside the point)
With that, Fion has spent yet another sleepless night wondering how do others move on? It's not that easy I guess when the one thing that You can never have, is the only thing You ever wanted in your life.
Share your thoughts with her.
May I check is it lesbian relationship? Know of a lesbian- Fion Fan
Re: Fion's - nothing to hold on to, how to move on.
Quote:
Originally Posted by fion.18
You hit right where it hurts. Yes, that was my way of escape. Date nights meant it's doesn't sound lonely rite. But unfortunately makes me feel even more empty than I already am haha.
It is not that dates are not good. It is what you use the dates for. If you are still searching for trails of him within those dates, then its pointless to go on dates.
What is important is maybe to release yourself from the relationship. Like i said, acknowledge the loss, then u will be more ready to move on. Otherwise now u are just going circles.
Re: Fion's - nothing to hold on to, how to move on.
Quote:
Originally Posted by solarflare
If you are still searching for trails of him within those dates, then its pointless to go on dates.
What is important is maybe to release yourself from the relationship. Like i said, acknowledge the loss, then u will be more ready to move on. Otherwise now u are just going circles.
Yeah! Think I need some time out for myself first. Love myself before I can love/be loved.
22-08-2014, 12:31 AM
Re: Fion's - nothing to hold on to, how to move on.
