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  #1  
Old 16-12-2018, 12:37 AM
polarbear123 polarbear123 is offline
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Advice needed.. GF vs FB

Hi Samsters,

I am undergoing some relationship issues and need some advice here. Apologies in advance if i offend anyone in anyway.

Brief intro about my GF:
- honestly the nicest and most caring person i know
- might be difficult at times, but then again we all have our good and bad days
- have a professional and potentially high paying job
- fairly pretty GND look

We have been dating for a long time (> 7 years), and while we are both generally happy in the relationship, we have not had sex as my gf wishes to wait till marriage. But other than that, everything else in the relationship is good and i know we will end up getting married.

Brief intro about my FB:
- quite a few years my senior, more MILF type
- extremely good figure
- single and lives alone

One day, i met my FB via an app, and we hit it off instantly. After a few meetings, we started to have sex. She knows i have a gf but is unusually understanding - she never demands anything from me; she doesn't want my gf to find out about us; whenever i have free time i can go and find her and she will avail herself. All in all the perfect FB.

So far, my gf does not know or suspect a single thing due to her long working hours. I meet up with my FB on average once a month and this has been going on for almost 2 years. There were multiple times when my conscious got the better of me and i wanted to stop my relationship with my FB, but failed.

In recent months, my GF and i have been making plans to get married. I feel very torn apart as while i love her (i know i will get slammed for this so please go easy) and want to be with her, somehow i feel very hard to let go of my FB. I know i am being selfish and unfair to both parties, and sometimes i wonder to myself how i got into this mess in the first place. Some people might find it lucky, and while that is true to a certain extent, i am really confused about how i should go about dealing with this issue.

Please advise if i should:

1. Continue seeing my FB while my GF and i make plans to get married.
2. Continue seeing my FB even after my GF and i get married
3. Cut off all ties with my FB
4. Other suggestions

Thank you and Merry X'mas to all.
  #2  
Old 16-12-2018, 12:57 AM
conquer conquer is offline
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Re: Advice needed.. GF vs FB

It all depends on you -- how good are you in handling women.

For some men, one wife is too much, while for some other men, they can have one wife, few mistresses, couple of girlfriends... and they still go call chickens.
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  #3  
Old 16-12-2018, 12:58 AM
jien1 jien1 is offline
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Re: Advice needed.. GF vs FB

What's the purpose of your FB? Sex? You're going to get it from your future wife.
If it's anything more than sex, bro we can't help you, as you'll need to juggle both then own up when you're caught....
  #4  
Old 16-12-2018, 01:55 AM
loveseekerx loveseekerx is offline
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I think deep down your heart you already chosen option #1. That was why you wrote no. 1 first.
For my opinion you should choose option 3.
The uncertainty is whether the sex with your gf or future wife will be as good as your fb. If sex not good e.g she does give bj. Then for sure you will miss your fb.
Some married men go and call chicken because sex not good or totally no sex from wife.
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Old 16-12-2018, 02:07 AM
manneedmassage manneedmassage is offline
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Re: Advice needed.. GF vs FB

From what I feel, as u have said that your gf is waiting for after marriage to have sex, and since u are planning to get married already why still feeling in a dilemma?

Continue the relationship with your FB till after marriage then when your gf/wife then is willing to have sex with you problem solved le ma? After that if u still wanna continue your relationship with your FB then up to u liao lor.

Win win situation leh I feel bro. Don’t worry be happy. Cheers!!!
  #6  
Old 16-12-2018, 02:53 AM
polarbear123 polarbear123 is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by jien1 View Post
What's the purpose of your FB? Sex? You're going to get it from your future wife.
If it's anything more than sex, bro we can't help you, as you'll need to juggle both then own up when you're caught....
I don’t think it’s just about sex. Yes I must admit it is good, but underlying that I feel the issue might be novelty - being with my GF for so long and now having someone new brings a new excitement, a fresh perspective in life. And then perhaps the sex is the icing on the cake that leaves me so attracted to this parenthesis.
  #7  
Old 16-12-2018, 02:55 AM
polarbear123 polarbear123 is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by loveseekerx View Post
I think deep down your heart you already chosen option #1. That was why you wrote no. 1 first.
For my opinion you should choose option 3.
The uncertainty is whether the sex with your gf or future wife will be as good as your fb. If sex not good e.g she does give bj. Then for sure you will miss your fb.
Some married men go and call chicken because sex not good or totally no sex from wife.
I actually chose option #3; I’ve not met my FB for quite some time but on random nights I will think about her. Thanks for affirming my choice.
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Old 16-12-2018, 02:56 AM
fringe929 fringe929 is offline
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Re: Advice needed.. GF vs FB

Going to get married liao, finish off whatever you have outstanding on your bucket list quick and be good
  #9  
Old 16-12-2018, 02:57 AM
polarbear123 polarbear123 is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by manneedmassage View Post
From what I feel, as u have said that your gf is waiting for after marriage to have sex, and since u are planning to get married already why still feeling in a dilemma?

Continue the relationship with your FB till after marriage then when your gf/wife then is willing to have sex with you problem solved le ma? After that if u still wanna continue your relationship with your FB then up to u liao lor.

Win win situation leh I feel bro. Don’t worry be happy. Cheers!!!
The dilemma reallly is this: do I really love my GF? If I do how can I continually make the same mistake over such an extended period of time. So many times I feel like a liar and cheater, but yet I find it hard to go of things with my FB. I guess no advice can help and I just have to sit down and decide for myself.
  #10  
Old 16-12-2018, 04:46 AM
iori71 iori71 is offline
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Re: Advice needed.. GF vs FB

Hi TS, I am happy that you share your story with us. What i think is that, If you are in such dilemma...what makes you think that it will not happen again after marriage? Sometimes when you control your desire, it turns out bigger the next time round. Maybe you should look into your current relationship with your gf/future wife. Now that you have freedom due to long hours at work, but what about when 2 of you are to get along in the same roof after marriage? Thee is no right or wrong reason but once started it is hard to stop. Sincerely wishing you all the best TS.
  #11  
Old 16-12-2018, 06:42 AM
JOGK JOGK is offline
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Re: Advice needed.. GF vs FB

You love one
You fuck another
You are playing with fire
Is it worth the risk
This is the question you should answer yourself
Because once broke you will never mend it back together again
Good luck bro
  #12  
Old 16-12-2018, 09:16 AM
waaaaaa waaaaaa is offline
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Re: Advice needed.. GF vs FB

If u can have the fb while u r having this gf. What diff does it make when she becomes your wife. You are having this emotional discomfort as a part of your conscious is telling u that u r getting married and shd be faithful. I been tru that. Few months after marriage, I started again.

Your gf of 7 years has been tested and shd be wife material. Fb are additional benefits when we only shows the good part of ourselves and hide the bad. While I do not encourage having fb. But they are also another type of friends whom u shared things u dun share with wife and friends. Emotionally and physically. Once u started playing, u wun stop, especially when opp comes along

Since u r doing it and your fb dun mind. Just continue. Being selfish, I always tell my friends, no matter how much we play outside. Must always go home at the end and take care of family.

Take sometime to work on your wedding and sort out the emotional part. I bet u will still continue after that. Congrats on your wedding
  #13  
Old 16-12-2018, 09:21 AM
cassano10 cassano10 is offline
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Re: Advice needed.. GF vs FB

If your gf reject sex b4 marriage,
You are probably not gg to get a lot of sex from her after Marriage.
  #14  
Old 16-12-2018, 01:28 PM
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Re: Advice needed.. GF vs FB

FB is like a part time job. Wife is the full time job.
If full time job cannot earn enough, continue ur part time job.
If u thin part time job is taking a toll and affecting ur full time job, than make a decision which pays more.

Ur fB seems like matured and understanding type. Should u make a decision to give up the part time job, she will let u
  #15  
Old 16-12-2018, 02:12 PM
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nuclearkid nuclearkid is offline
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Re: Advice needed.. GF vs FB

Since your FB is known from a dating app, the likelihood is that you do not have to see her in your daily affairs. Depending on just your will power to stay away from her is tenuous. On some days, you will be tested and likely succumb. Delete her number and make it impossible for you to contact her. Alternatively, introduce her to someone and let him take all her attention away.
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