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Matters of the Heart. Has a Commercial Fuck turned into a torrid Love Affair which has turned your life upside down? Fear not. We have experts here who can help you through your roller coaster ride. Tell us your story and we'll do our best to help.

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  #46  
Old 28-12-2018, 03:29 PM
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Wins88 Wins88 is offline
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Re: Seeking for method to forget a 4 years Ex-FL PRC Relationship

Bro, you are hurting mainly because subconsciously - the 4 years you have invested into this relationship has evaporated and its causing you the pain.

Be thakful you never married her otherwise you will be in this same forum topic sharing with us how it all went South anyway.

Judging from what you wrote - for her = it was all about the money - it was never that she loved you - she loved your bank account and wallet and what it/you could provide. Mercenary to the core.

There is a saying "one door closes another one will open" and I am sure you will find someone worthy of your love soon cos based on what you wrote you are kind and charitable person with a good heart.

Dont dwell on it - spend your time looking for a good girlfriend who is wife material, and in the future you will look back and thank heavens that you broke up with this girl.

Good luck.
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  #47  
Old 28-12-2018, 03:37 PM
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Re: Seeking for method to forget a 4 years Ex-FL PRC Relationship

Just go out find another one... its a forest out there...
It take a new one to forget an ol one
  #48  
Old 28-12-2018, 07:05 PM
I Love Boobs I Love Boobs is offline
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Re: Seeking for method to forget a 4 years Ex-FL PRC Relationship

Quote:
Originally Posted by I Love Boobs View Post
Bro, analyse the first part of this post...
You're JUSTIFYING her behaviour.
Kenna KC already...
Walk away bro..
I divorced my wife as she cheated on me despite piling on the pounds to 75kg....
Not worth it.... reconcile for what... black hearted and body koyak already...

Add 5 years to this girl... in this Line age damn fast...
A wife or GF has a responsibility to maintain her appearance.
A fit slim guy going around with a fat girl is a LOSER..
  #49  
Old 29-12-2018, 12:09 AM
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Re: Seeking for method to forget a 4 years Ex-FL PRC Relationship

Bro TS, you kenna KC already.
Look at all the money thrown in and all for nothing.
Cut your losses, take it as tuition fees for learning about life.
Then, count yourself lucky not losing anymore.
Many fishes out there in the ocean and not FL, ML or WL.
Don't waste your life bro.
  #50  
Old 29-12-2018, 02:57 AM
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Re: Seeking for method to forget a 4 years Ex-FL PRC Relationship

Quote:
Originally Posted by sgpiggybank View Post
...If she did it just for her family and not for luxury some how I really pity her. I known her for 4 years and she do not spend on luxury food, items and lifestyle. When she have money she will give it to her parents or buy stuff for her family. She most spending is on tao bao for 20 - max 200 rmb clothes. She do not go shopping boutique to buy few thousand rmb clothes. Even when I offer to pay for her she will said save the money and give me when I need for my family. Also when we go out and have food, she prefer to cook at home which is 2 veg and 1 porridge which to be frank I don't even eat so simple food when I am in SG which makes me feel terrible.

I will like to thank you for all bros contributing. I am still in the state of confusion. Leaving her is very difficult unless she is also willing to give up. I am those very soft hearted type...I tried to leave her and many ways I have tried. Maybe I need a bowl of 孟婆汤。。。
Bro, a kind man like you deserves much better

From what you say, i sense you pity her and try to justify her actions while looking out for signs that she has true feelings for you. Seems like you can't put a stop to this relationship by yourself, probably because you have invested so much emotion, time and money. Understanding "sunk cost fallacy" might help you sort out your thinking

Take care and i hope you feel better, sooner
  #51  
Old 02-01-2019, 12:00 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by I Love Boobs View Post
A wife or GF has a responsibility to maintain her appearance.
A fit slim guy going around with a fat girl is a LOSER..
Totally agree!
  #52  
Old 06-01-2019, 09:17 PM
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Re: Seeking for method to forget a 4 years Ex-FL PRC Relationship

Quote:
Originally Posted by pokemonster View Post
I in a similar suitation
Knew this girl in hcm for 2 mth. Never ask for money from me so far and treated me good as of now. However i felt like a zombie being mind fuked. Every time think about her. Work and family got impacted.
Wana end the relationship but can't.
I totally understand it. I'm in the same situation but with a Indo girl. I'm literally going down tomorrow to help her break contract and clear debt so that she can go home to her parents..
  #53  
Old 06-01-2019, 11:43 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by sgpiggybank View Post
I am also thinking about this too. Not to invest on her any requirements except daily spending's and monitor the progress. If she leave me then it will be for money and if she does not this means she is not up for money. It takes 2 hands to claps. If she decided to leave me it will be easier as she will not pester me to reconcile which will makes things easier or me to give up.


Bro, I totally agreed with you. If she did it just for her family and not for luxury some how I really pity her. I known her for 4 years and she do not spend on luxury food, items and lifestyle. When she have money she will give it to her parents or buy stuff for her family. She most spending is on tao bao for 20 - max 200 rmb clothes. She do not go shopping boutique to buy few thousand rmb clothes. Even when I offer to pay for her she will said save the money and give me when I need for my family. Also when we go out and have food, she prefer to cook at home which is 2 veg and 1 porridge which to be frank I don't even eat so simple food when I am in SG which makes me feel terrible.




I agreed I am being KC for the facts of 4 years of relationship. Not for the sex already to be frank even how good she is. She is still maintaining well will 47 KG and 1.6m height. No urge to do it even I see her and more relations and responsibility involve then sex. Your wife must have give birth for your sake already if not she will not gain so much weight I guess. Her heart is not black after all she can still feel guilty and even how I scold her she will kept apologizing. Normal days she will quarrel with me if I scold her like his. I believe everything will take 2 hands to clap.


I will like to thank you for all bros contributing. I am still in the state of confusion. Leaving her is very difficult unless she is also willing to give up. I am those very soft hearted type...I tried to leave her and many ways I have tried. Maybe I need a bowl of 孟婆汤。。。
Bro, please move as i having the same problem. We need time to recover
  #54  
Old 06-01-2019, 11:47 PM
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Re: Seeking for method to forget a 4 years Ex-FL PRC Relationship

Bro, please move on as i having the same problem. We need time to recover
  #55  
Old 06-01-2019, 11:54 PM
velik velik is offline
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Re: Seeking for method to forget a 4 years Ex-FL PRC Relationship

bro, please move on as I having the same problem. we need time to recover

Last edited by velik; 09-01-2019 at 12:24 PM.
  #56  
Old 07-01-2019, 04:12 AM
peanodood1337 peanodood1337 is offline
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Re: Seeking for method to forget a 4 years Ex-FL PRC Relationship

Quote:
Originally Posted by sgpiggybank View Post
I am also thinking about this too. Not to invest on her any requirements except daily spending's and monitor the progress. If she leave me then it will be for money and if she does not this means she is not up for money. It takes 2 hands to claps. If she decided to leave me it will be easier as she will not pester me to reconcile which will makes things easier or me to give up.
Bro you've already tested her once. She has failed. And now you're thinking of giving her another test? Sounds like you're shifting the goal-posts for her to "pass". Just so that you can justify continue being with her.

Quote:
Originally Posted by sgpiggybank View Post
Bro, I totally agreed with you. If she did it just for her family and not for luxury some how I really pity her. I known her for 4 years and she do not spend on luxury food, items and lifestyle. When she have money she will give it to her parents or buy stuff for her family. She most spending is on tao bao for 20 - max 200 rmb clothes. She do not go shopping boutique to buy few thousand rmb clothes. Even when I offer to pay for her she will said save the money and give me when I need for my family. Also when we go out and have food, she prefer to cook at home which is 2 veg and 1 porridge which to be frank I don't even eat so simple food when I am in SG which makes me feel terrible.
Whatever her character is, it does not change two facts:

1. Her parents are a bunch of gold-diggers.
2. She listens to them.

C'mon man. 200k SGD bride price? Gotta buy them a house and a car? Dude, these are a bunch of vampires. What is the cost of living in China? They're expecting a major upgrade in their lifestyles just because you're marrying their daughter? What the fuck bro?

Parents shouldn't be profiting off their daughters in such a manner. Yea sure if you can afford it, it would be a nice thing to do to upgrade their lives, but it should be something you want to do out of your own initiative, never an expectation.

So here's the bottomline - it doesn't matter if this girl is a frugal person by nature. At the end of the day, she listens to her parents, and by extension, is a gold-digger herself.

Quote:
Originally Posted by sgpiggybank View Post
I agreed I am being KC for the facts of 4 years of relationship. Not for the sex already to be frank even how good she is. She is still maintaining well will 47 KG and 1.6m height. No urge to do it even I see her and more relations and responsibility involve then sex. Your wife must have give birth for your sake already if not she will not gain so much weight I guess. Her heart is not black after all she can still feel guilty and even how I scold her she will kept apologizing. Normal days she will quarrel with me if I scold her like his. I believe everything will take 2 hands to clap.
"Her heart is not black" is what you're telling yourself to justify her actions. However, when it comes down to it, she values her parents over you. This is a woman who is willing to sell her body just to give her parents CNY money. Her loyalty to you is worth less to her than making her parents happy for CNY.

Can you live with that?

And c'mon man, obviously she's not going to quarrel with you. It doesn't further her agenda in any way. Will she get money for her parents by arguing with you? Nah bro. She's been with you for 4 years, you think she doesn't know how to push your buttons?

Quote:
Originally Posted by sgpiggybank View Post
I will like to thank you for all bros contributing. I am still in the state of confusion. Leaving her is very difficult unless she is also willing to give up. I am those very soft hearted type...I tried to leave her and many ways I have tried. Maybe I need a bowl of 孟婆汤。。。
You need to wake the fuck up bro. This relationship is based on you giving, and her receiving. No pun intended. It is not a healthy relationship. Things shouldn't be like this in a BGR, let alone a marriage.

With the amount of money and effort you are spending on this girl + the fact that you don't seem to be a bad person, you can easily find a decent, down-to-earth local girl. Someone who is on the same wavelength and can communicate properly with you. Someone who enjoys the same things you do (other than sex). Someone you can build a life with.

Not every romance has a happy ending. You have already invested 4 years, lots of money and effort on this farcical "relationship". I think its time to cut your losses and walk away. Ultimately, this is your life. Where do you see yourself in 5 years? Think about it.

Good luck bro.
  #57  
Old 07-01-2019, 01:37 PM
jameschong1 jameschong1 is offline
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Re: Seeking for method to forget a 4 years Ex-FL PRC Relationship

[QUOTE]
Quote:
Originally Posted by sgpiggybank View Post
Hi all,
I am seek ways to forget her and even after 2 months the feelings is terrible.
the true is u cannot forget the $$$ u throw on her, not so much u cannot forget her!
accept the fact u are kamlung, wasted 4 years of youth, time & $$$ on a street wild chicken prostitute.
move on, find a job, find a life, volunteer in RC or religion work & u will ok
  #58  
Old 08-01-2019, 11:02 PM
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Re: Seeking for method to forget a 4 years Ex-FL PRC Relationship

[QUOTE=peanodood1337;18218889]Bro you've already tested her once. She has failed. And now you're thinking of giving her another test? Sounds like you're shifting the goal-posts for her to "pass". Just so that you can justify continue being with her.

Well said by bro peanodood1337.
TS is only trying to justify his actions to let her pass!
Love is blind and TS is too blind to see the whole picture that this relationship is toxic.
I know TS feels very sad, depress, confuse and feels like dying right now.
But trust me, TIME heals everything.
Just give time more time!
  #59  
Old 14-01-2019, 01:29 PM
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Re: Seeking for method to forget a 4 years Ex-FL PRC Relationship

Technically she isnt an ex-fl since shes back in the trade. But anyway those bros in HN chat grp will prolly know which fl she is. TBH for the life of me i will never understand how a man of means such as yourself can actually fall for such a girl.

I knew u bao her, but to the extent of entering a 4 year relationship with her and even intending to marry someone who has, in your words: "love to play, lazy to work, not smart and not good in talking" just befuddles the shit out of me.

You only entered a relationship with her in the first place because of her being "good in sex and have a body which I always dream to bonk". But good sir, all looks fade in time, in the end what you want in a wife is her character and values. At least for me, and in my opinion that girl is sorely lacking.

Its only been 2 months, no one can get over a 4 year relationship in that short time span. And imo, her looks and body were just average. With your deep pockets you could be bonking girls leagues above her in the looks department.

idk how young you are, but just enjoy your life man. You have the means to do so. Dont beat yourself up or torture yourself mentally over her. Shes not worth it but then again, who am i to judge her for what she means to you? I dont know what memories or experiences you have shared with her, i dont know what she has done to reciprocate the time, effort and money you have spent in your relationship with her. But what I can safely judge is that her parents are disgusting pigs. I really wonder if you had the means to pay that exorbitant sum back when they requested it would you have agreed to it?

To answer your question of how to forget her, im suggesting the only answer is time. Time heals all wounds, it may not heal fully but it will heal. Exercising or going around on a fucking spree dosent do much in healing the pain that you feel in your heart. Because it all gets meaningless after awhile, nothing can recapture the satisfaction and happiness that true love gives you. Maybe in a year or two you will come back to visit this thread and see how much you have changed emotionally and mentally. Or you might meet someone sweeter & younger than her who might recapture your heart all over again to help u forget her.
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  #60  
Old 14-01-2019, 02:54 PM
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Re: Seeking for method to forget a 4 years Ex-FL PRC Relationship

Save your money for hard times...
I've seen people who have it all - money, women - in the 90s
Now begging for money... not enough to eat...
These are just family members...
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