CHAPTER SIX
I woke up in a familiar bed with familiar, warm arms around me and a familiar, furry lump sleeping at my feet. I breathed in deep, now that I could again. I snuggled back into the warm, bare chest behind me and the arms automatically tightened as he drew me in. It was the warmest, safest feeling that I’d ever had, and I couldn’t quite believe that I’d put myself through nearly a week of misery by denying myself his presence. Of course I would stay with him through his transformation. What would my life be without him?
He nuzzled my hair as he inhaled deeply himself. “You smell so good,” he murmured.
“Nearly edible?” I muttered back, as I turned in his embrace to gaze at him.
He raised his head to look at me, his eyes filled with a new emotion, a happy, peaceful one. He ran a finger down my cheek and then along the artery in my neck. “Delicious.” He smiled softly.
I frowned slightly. “Things are going to change.”
He relaxed back on an elbow as he looked down on me. I scooted over to my back and stroked his arm lying across my stomach. “Yes,” he said simply.
“When will you die?” I couldn’t even say the word louder than a whisper, but he heard me just fine.
He shrugged. “I don’t know. I suppose it could be any day.”
I nodded and placed my hand on his chest, to feel the pulsating life beneath his skin. “I’ll miss this.”
He placed his hand over mine and we both felt his doomed heart beating. “I will too.”
I looked up to his face as that registered with me. He was dying, and he didn’t want to. I was so selfish - worrying all this time about how it would affect me that I didn’t even consider how he felt about it. Concern for him filled me. “Will it hurt?”
He stroked my fingers on his chest and looked down at the pillow. He frowned. “No one will give me a clear answer on that. They just keep saying “it’s uncomfortable” or “you’ll be fine”.” He looked back to me and a trace of fear was in his eyes. “I’m assuming that’s a yes, it’s going to hurt like hell.”
I reached up to stroke his face. “Are you scared?”
He closed his eyes briefly at my touch and then reopened them. “Yes,” he whispered. He looked back to the pillow and I ran my hand back down his chest and bit my lip. “I know I shouldn’t be. I know that I’ll be fine.” He looked back over to my eyes and searched my face for a second. “But, I’ve only ever been human. This is what I know.” He patted his chest, his heart, and then he sighed. “I will miss feeling my heart beat. I will miss coffee. I will really miss food. I will miss…feeling normal.”
I pulled him to me for a tender kiss. “I’m so sorry, Teren.”
We kissed warmly for a few moments and then he pulled back. Gazing at me adoringly again, he brushed some hair off my forehead. “Don’t be. I’ve known this was my legacy my whole life. I’ve had plenty of time to prepare myself.”
“It will still be an adjustment for you.” I cocked my head to the side as I studied him. “You’re always going to look like this, aren’t you?”
He smiled. “Yes.”
I frowned. “How am I going to explain that to my family?” I looked down at his chest. “And we’ll never be able to eat with them.” I looked back up to his eyes. “Oh…we’ll never be able to have dinner together.”
“Sure we will. I’ll still cook for you.” He grinned widely and sat further back on his elbow. “I’ll just have to start making you pork dishes. I think I’d starve, just living on chickens.”
I had the odd thought of him draining a pig in the kitchen and couldn’t stop the laugh. He laughed with me and then we kissed some more. Man, I’d missed that. After a moment, he pulled away again. “Things will change, Emma…but one thing, will not.”
“What?”
“I’ll still love you.”
I could only stare in silence at the amazing, doomed man beside me. Warmth and emotion flooded my body and I blinked to keep back those darn tears. “I love you too.” I ran my hand back through his dark hair and pulled his lips to mine again. I savoured the heat of that kiss as our mouths moved together perfectly. “I’m going to miss your warmth,” I muttered against the stubbly softness of him. “What else will change?”
He pulled back and thought for a moment. “Well, I’ll be even stronger and faster. I won’t age and I’ll heal fast. My sense of smell will be even more acute. I’ll be more aware of blood. I’ll be…”
“Hungrier?” I asked hesitantly.
"Thirstier.” He gave me a very pointed look as I absorbed that. I suppose if all he consisted on was blood, he would need it more often and in larger quantities. I could see that being a problem, if he were ever really, really hungry - regardless of what Alanna told me about her and her husband.
“Will it be a difficult for you…being around me?”
“No, of course not. I wouldn’t let this continue if I thought that. I’d never hurt you, Emma. I’m not going to turn into some crazed monster. I’ll still be me.” He hesitated and I could see a debate in his eyes.
“Just tell me. I don’t like secrets.”
He lay back on the pillows and gazed at the ceiling. I propped up on an elbow so I could see him better. He seemed to not be sure how to word what he was thinking about. I gave him another moment to reflect while I drew a circle on his bare chest.
Finally he spoke, although he still didn’t look at me. “My mother may have downplayed the thirst.” He looked over to meet my curious eyes. “She didn’t want to scare you, they are still hoping for that grandchild, and my father really isn’t in any danger from her, but the blood is more intoxicating than she led you to believe. And once I change, that desire will get worse. You’ll be…tempting to me.”
“I’ll be food.” He nodded solemnly. “Could you feed on me without killing me?” I surprised myself, both by asking him that and by being calm when I asked it.
He sat up on both elbows and gazed at me intensely. “Yes. I can sense how much is too much. I would never take more than your body could handle. I would never bring you harm.”
I sat up a bit as I regarded him with narrowed eyes. “How can you be sure of that? How do you know you could control yourself? You’ll be more vampiric, maybe you just won’t care?”
He brought a hand to my cheek. “My feelings won’t change. I’ll always care.” He tenderly stroked my cheek. “How do you know you can take one small bite of the sweetest dessert you’ve ever tasted and be satisfied?”
I thought about his analogy and tried to forget that in his scenario – I was dessert. “Well, I guess that would depend on how hungry I was. If I was starving, I probably wouldn’t stop.”
“I would never sample you if I were starving. I wouldn’t come near you if I were anywhere close to starving.” He sat up on the bed with me.
We were having a frank conversation, so I decided to just be frank. “You wouldn’t just attack me and take it?”
He was shaking his head before I’d even finished my question. “I would never take it without permission. No…only if you wanted me to taste you.” He looked down and blushed slightly. “I would actually love that. It’s really quite…intimate. You may enjoy it too.”
“I don’t think so, Teren,” I said very slowly. “Would you…feed on anyone else, if I always told you no?” I found that I couldn’t meet his eye when I asked that, and I had to stare at my fingers tracing patterns in the silky sheets.
His hand came up and he gently grabbed my chin, making me look up at him. “No. I would never do that…ever. You’re the only one I want to drink from.”
That comment actually pleased me, which made me shake my head a little. “This conversation just got creepy.”
He laughed and relaxed back down to the pillows. “Just? I thought it was creepy ages ago, but I just kept going with it.”
“Shut up.” I smiled and laid down on him, putting my head on his shoulder and draping my arm over his chest. “Would my blood be sweet to you?”
He grinned widely as I looked up at him. “Like the finest wine.”
“Hmmm…that’s oddly flattering. Still pretty creepy, but flattering.”
He laughed again and kissed my temple. “I do love you.”
“I don’t think I’ll ever get tired of hearing you say that.” I nestled deeper into his shoulder and sighed happily.
“Well, you have as long as you like to listen.”
Spike stirred from his resting place at our feet and stood up on the bed. He shook out his long coat and then lightly stepped in-between Teren and me and settled back down. We both laughed as we were forced apart from each other by his size. Spike licked my cheek and rested his head on my shoulder, almost protectively.
“Hey boy, I missed you.” I scratched him behind his ears and he thumped his tail happily.
Teren sat up on the other side of him. “You missed the dog…did you miss me?”