Quote:
Originally Posted by thatxx
ive been with a married man for 5 years now. For my case im not married while he is. To me the most important element of such relationship is to never have any expectation. if he is not free to text and meet due to family obligations, then okay i can always find other things to do. If he is free to meet me and spend some time together, then yay!
Took me 1 year to lower my expectations and never to ask questions that you know will hurt you. His family will always be first and always keep in mind that he will NEVER leave his family for you. People will ask, why do you do it then if it is so hard?? he is my best friend and the best relationship i ever had. It is just a shame that we met after he got married and had kids. Over the years things got easier as we learn to manage our expectations.
He understands that if i manage to find a guy that i want to settle down with, he will back off. Ive been actively searching but so far nobody comes even close to replacing him. We always joke that i may end up single and become a cougar when im in my late 30s lol.
glad to read that i am not the only one in this situation  hoping others will share their story too. |
my ex fb/gf partner basically said to me
why cant I have my own man, why do I have to share.
why cant I have children with you, or openly go on holidays
with so many whys, I said, yes, to be fair to you, I want you to be happy
Kills me to let her go, but I would say I care and love enough to want her to find her own happiness, even if its without me. Holding her back seemed to be the wrong thing to do.
So I left. And now she wants back. But because she confessed she had feelings for other men and was always looking when we were together, I think I am not keen on revisiting these hurt feelings of being cheated on.
She told me, she's single, has always been because she has no status with me.
Fair enough. This old lion doesn't want to keep licking his wounds. In my 40s, I just don't have the energy to play this emotional games anymore.