We were in our mid 30s when my wife lost interest in sex. Whenever I initiate she will lay on bed like a dead meat. This has been going on for a long long time. I gave up and start burning money to look for ml to service me. Btw my wife is not working.
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Originally Posted by StillLearning
My sympathies are with you.
Contrary to your situation, I am married with four children.
Unfortunately, during the past few years, my wife has been "making excuses", (like tired, not in the mood, not after 2200 hours, not in the morning), although I have always been doing the laundry, cleaning the washrooms, ironing the children's and my clothes, preparing almost all the dinners.
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Originally Posted by Supra_yap
My situation same like yours, except I don't have kids.
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Originally Posted by viper
Zero. Lucky once or twice a month but laying like a dead wood. No passion just a hole to poke. Giving us, men excuses to go look for FL etc..Hopeless, I rather spend $$ outside for some fun than with her now..
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Originally Posted by paradise80
Agree with you all bros. To them sex is a chore than enjoyable process.. Don't know why this is happening to gals nowadays..
Due to genes ? Study too much ? Too much stress outside ?
Empathise wif all the bros above & many others out there...so strong sentiments against their wifeys...Tis situation is all too familiar to most bros who are married...seems like sex is thrown out of the window once the wedding day novelty wears off & esp after the kids arrival, as testified by the bros quoted above, & by so many other bros in other similar threads such as this in the past ..those few couples who are still enjoying sex wif each other regularly shd consider themselves the lucky ones !
Tis is not a new problem tat just surfaced 2day...but hv been known since time immemorial...can't really blame the wifeys totally though...their various 'excuses' not to hv sex wif their hubbies & those mentioned by bro paradise80 are true to a certain extent...but tink the problem prolly is..tat from the beginning of time, nature had intended & has made guys wif HSD in order to multiply & replenish the earth...made them the ones more horny, more eager & in need of sex than the gals are..esp those after menopause...maybe for most of wifeys, they tink tat after 'capturing' their husbands they can sit back & relax...& leave him alone to service himself esp where sex is concerned...& being economically independent, ladies nowadays are not too afraid of their hubbies as was the case many yrs ago in the past n feel tat they can go it on their own in any eventuality...Just my 2 cents worth of tot
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Originally Posted by Jannygirl
Girls also... my husband not interested in sex. We do it once a month, max half hour.
Empathise wif the sis Jannygirl !...Yes, the reverse is sometimes true as well...some guys hv really LSD...however those who genuinely hv LSD are pretty rare...maybe she shd find out 1st why her hubby is not interested in having sex wif her...his LSD may or may not be natural...hope her sexual situation wif her hubby will improve as time goes by...best wishes to her !
Empathize wif all the bros above & many others out there...so strong sentiments against their wifeys...Tis situation is all too familiar to most bros who are married...seems like sex is thrown out of the window once the wedding day novelty wears off & esp after the kids arrival, as testified by the bros quoted above, & by so many other bros in other similar threads such as this in the past ..those few couples who are still enjoying sex wif each other regularly shd consider themselves the lucky ones !
Just to add a little more...the proverbs "familiarity breeds contempt" & "new broom sweeps clean" are just a few examples tat applies aptly to the marriage situation...Couples must continually re-invent & re-adjust themselves to each other...in order for the marriage to survive...& to keep the flames of love & sex alive each day of their lives together !
My ex-wife used to give all sorts of excuses for not having sex.
Also fat and overweight. Even then I loved her, but we had sex 3 times a year, Even then was like dead fish..
I worked overseas for 3 years+
Then she started going for facials to improve her complexion, going to slimming centre (with my money), and staying back late at work..
Yup, she was having an affair with her boss..
Best of all parents-in-law knew about it and covered up for her
maybe 2~3 times a month? frequency getting lesser after 5 years of marriage with 2 kidos. last time go 3d2n holiday can piak 7 times, like sex trip like that
used to eat outside every week cos not getting enough, but something big happened to my parent, making me see things in a different light... plus 2 kiddos starting to grow up...dont want them to have any chance of a broken family...
so.... "i LOVE my RIGHT HAND"
woman are quite emo... they need to feel loved then they will want to have sex...so the feeling loved part really depends on individual... to some woman, they appreciate a man for helping out @ home with the chores and kids, so they feel loved... for some, even helping out will not make them feel loved as they feel it is the man's duty to help out...they prefer to be connected emotionally... so have to find the key to open the door lor.. but i lazy liao... i know where the key is but sometimes i rather spend my time doing things i enjoy then to spend EFFORT to open the "door"...
Empathise wif all the bros above & many others out there...so strong sentiments against their wifeys...Tis situation is all too familiar to most bros who are married...seems like sex is thrown out of the window once the wedding day novelty wears off & esp after the kids arrival, as testified by the bros quoted above, & by so many other bros in other similar threads such as this in the past ..those few couples who are still enjoying sex wif each other regularly shd consider themselves the lucky ones !
Tis is not a new problem tat just surfaced 2day...but hv been known since time immemorial...can't really blame the wifeys totally though...their various 'excuses' not to hv sex wif their hubbies & those mentioned by bro paradise80 are true to a certain extent...but tink the problem prolly is..tat from the beginning of time, nature had intended & has made guys wif HSD in order to multiply & replenish the earth...made them the ones more horny, more eager & in need of sex than the gals are..esp those after menopause...maybe for most of wifeys, they tink tat after 'capturing' their husbands they can sit back & relax...& leave him alone to service himself esp where sex is concerned...& being economically independent, ladies nowadays are not too afraid of their hubbies as was the case many yrs ago in the past n feel tat they can go it on their own in any eventuality...Just my 2 cents worth of tot
Actually, the very problem caused is because society is teaching us that sex is irrelevant. Just ask around- guys and girls, whether if it is and the answer is almost always no. No, because the guy nor girl doesn't want to be protrayed a prevert or a shallow person. They will say things like "its the character of the person, etc etc etc..." and will go to ends to say everything else BUT sex. lol. yes...we live in a very very sad world where there are many things obviously wrong and no one wants to mention the very very big elephant in the room for fear of reprisals.
Actually, the very problem caused is because society is teaching us that sex is irrelevant. Just ask around- guys and girls, whether if it is and the answer is almost always no. No, because the guy nor girl doesn't want to be protrayed a prevert or a shallow person. They will say things like "its the character of the person, etc etc etc..." and will go to ends to say everything else BUT sex. lol.
yes...we live in a very very sad world where there are many things obviously wrong and no one wants to mention the very very big elephant in the room for fear of reprisals.
T.Q. bro DemonicSS for yr POV ...but dun quite understand the 1st part of yr post... could u give a clearer explanation ?...u mean to say, we are living in a world of make-believe...tat there's everything else...but only afraid to talk abt & admit the existence of SEX ??
For the 2nd part...yes, it is a really sad, sad world we are living in...there are many problems in our lives which we can't resolve just by ourselves & need the help & co-operation of others...we are dependent on others for many of our needs too...so many a times, we find ourselves having to please others 1st before pleasing ourselves...sigh
Bro & sis,
I mean no offence, please rebut if offended.
I am also in a r/s and this is also what I have in my fears.
A difference in sex drives that will be the root of future mis-understanding. I definitely do not wish to indulge in private activities but have found them in my thoughts. It have made me upset and have not formally spoken to my lady about it. I am afraid, that even after speaking, nothing will be changed, as a plant will always be a plant; even with the best soil, glorious sunlight, pristine air, a plant, is always a plant.
I thought and I think, maybe I should become a plant too, and divert my attention else where. It is hard, and difficult.
Dear bro&sis, sorry for intruding the thread and shifting the agenda. I am just venting
T.Q. bro DemonicSS for yr POV ...but dun quite understand the 1st part of yr post... could u give a clearer explanation ?...u mean to say, we are living in a world of make-believe...tat there's everything else...but only afraid to talk abt & admit the existence of SEX ??
For the 2nd part...yes, it is a really sad, sad world we are living in...there are many problems in our lives which we can't resolve just by ourselves & need the help & co-operation of others...we are dependent on others for many of our needs too...so many a times, we find ourselves having to please others 1st before pleasing ourselves...sigh
What are refer to is the societial norms that we have now. I'd not dabble why it is so as that will be another topic. You can see that now in school
, kids now are taught to abstain from sex. Girls are taught in families that sex is bad till marriage. So literally, sex is taboo till you get married. So if sex is an important part of life with your spouse, it should have been embraced as part of lessons learnt in growing up - choosing what you like in your partner not just in character, but sexually as well. But currently it is not, hence my statement that society is making sex unimportant and its sad that while we know in our hearts that its' wrong, but no one would dare to speak up.
What are refer to is the societial norms that we have now. I'd not dabble why it is so as that will be another topic. You can see that now in school
, kids now are taught to abstain from sex. Girls are taught in families that sex is bad till marriage. So literally, sex is taboo till you get married. So if sex is an important part of life with your spouse, it should have been embraced as part of lessons learnt in growing up - choosing what you like in your partner not just in character, but sexually as well. But currently it is not, hence my statement that society is making sex unimportant and its sad that while we know in our hearts that its' wrong, but no one would dare to speak up.
Kids should abstain from sex. Sex is to enjoyed in a marriage. Most bros here don't because they open their presents too early. Choosing a partner should be based on character compatibility, not sex. When characters are compatible, the sex drives will be equally yoked. Its obvious you don't have a daughter. When you eventually have one, you won't be encouraging her to try out with every prospect.
Not that we don't speak up. We just don't agree with the way you think.
Kids should abstain from sex. Sex is to enjoyed in a marriage. Most bros here don't because they open their presents too early. Choosing a partner should be based on character compatibility, not sex. When characters are compatible, the sex drives will be equally yoked. Its obvious you don't have a daughter. When you eventually have one, you won't be encouraging her to try out with every prospect.
Not that we don't speak up. We just don't agree with the way you think.
First off, I do apologise as I was not aware (well.. I didn't really read all the pages) that this tread was specifically for wives AFTER kids. I got lazy, sorry about that.
Now, actually, I do not agree with you at all with what you say. lol. Let's just put it as "we agree to disagree and that you disagree with what I say" before I continue further.
By kids, I meant around 18 and above - you could call them young adults. I often see parents trying to control their kids beyond that. They should be allowed to date and try around. It is their prime time where they are free to do those. I'd admit I do not have a daughter, but seeing how I met my wife, I'd be more insistent on her having such a life because through experience, she will know what she wants in her future husband in that aspect - not only just n character. I'd want her to enjoy her life with her partner in person and IN BED, like i do now. -You may read this with dismay and say "this is a load of bull". But I'd leave this to you That the outsiders are often the ones who see the bigger picture in your life as many do get entangled in their small little web. I do not say because it is in the end none of my business as the family is yours and not mine. The only reason why I say now is because of the veil of the internet.
You mentioned that sex should be enjoyed in marriage. So how can you enjoy something that you do not know? Yeah I know, you treat sex sacred. but that really defeats the purpose. It shouldn't be the case.
"Choosing a partner should be based on character compatibility, not sex". Ahhh, the biggest elephant in the room is mentioned. As I said, when you choose someone, you choose based on character compatibility AND sexual performance. The world didn't tell you that you could only choose one out of the two choices. So why do that? Wouldn't it have been alot better if you took the time to try out the sex as well yeah? We all like to be prepared cause the future is always uncertain, marriage is important, so closing one more door of uncertainty is definately better right?
Lastly about opening presents too early.. I didn't quite get that. I'm assuming something, but I figured I'd wait till someone explains later on.
29-01-2015, 09:25 PM
